December 20th, 2022
Mellifluous – Serendipity – Elysian - Felicity
One of my good friend, someone that I consider like a big brother challenged me to write an article only about positive things that happened, happens in my life/or things that I have. This is the perfect time for it as we are getting closer to the end of the year and that it is also at that time, each year, I do a recap of the positive and negative points.
While writing this article, I am listening to the song of Dobie Gray – Drift Away and I would like to quote, as I always do, “Amanda Seales’s message on the passing of a famous celebrity very recently. What she said resonates in me so much because I went, not myself, through a similar situation just 2 months ago. Here is her message : “This life thing is hard : it don’t matter how much money you have, it don’t matter how much fame you have, it don’t even sometimes matter how much support you have. There are things that are happening within that sometimes nothing outside of you can handle. And it is so hard in the sense that no matter what you have , what we have as humans is uncertainty about what this life is going to bring us and about where we’re going to go with it. So that’s why it is so important to put so much work into finding solidity in your purpose and finding freedom in the unknowing and for some folks that’s in religion, that’s in spiritual practice, that’s in their work, you name it. But check on your friends! And check on yourself! And understand that this ride is rocky for so many of us and you are not alone”.
I would like to dedicate this article to so many people that I have in my life and that bring positiveness and sunshine in my every day journey..
This year has been emotionally heavy in many ways, sad ones, happy ones.
I lost my uncle, my ever first pillar, my guide on 16th January : I am still processing his death, I still talk to him at nights and I still cry him. Each time I go to his house he is just everywhere but it is comforting to know that indeed he is all around, follows me all the time, protects me and continues guiding me.
Two weeks after his death, I lost my Vivian : Vivian Chatman-Royce was 70 ish, but she looked 60 : she has been one of the most positive person I have ever met in my life. I met her during a shiny afternoon in Lisbon and she took me to the beautiful city of Sintra to have lunch at the manor of her cousin. It was such a beautiful afternoon : the flower were beautiful, the air was transparent, everything was so light, we clicked right away and I knew I had won a mom in Portugal (for the record, I have mums in different countries, special women of a certain age I have a bond with). From that day, even when living in different continents, I never got separated from Vivian : we had endless phone conversations, plenty of text messages exchanges and sending so many photos to each other. Vivian was always pushing me to not give up, to always push me to believe that it is going to happen even if I don’t know what and that it will be so beautiful. Her son Armani, an amazing Dj called “Boddhi Satva” is also a very good friend : Armani was actually comforting me when she passed away because I couldn’t stop crying for weeks. I am grateful and lucky to have you in my life and I know your mother is also protecting and guiding you and she is so proud of you every day.
Two months ago, I lost the person I am crying almost every day since then: Bri is gone(Brian Mullally). We have been friends for the last 20 years. It is hard to live without him : it is hard to not be able to cheer him up, it is hard to not help him get better anymore, it is hard to not talk to him during entire days, weeks until he will get better. On the last messages we exchanged he said “ you have constantly been there for me, I love you and I will forever treasure this friendship”. One of Brian wishes was to become a dad before he turned 40 and he became the father of a beautiful princess: I promised you I would always be there for her and I will do my best to never break that promise. He used to say he would die alone and I used to tell him, I am there and you will never die alone. I want to apologize to you because I have failed that only time and you were alone. I really hope you are in a better place and in peace. Your legacy lives through your beautiful princess.
I am again grateful for Alexandra Marchand-Ascarez, my coach, that has helped me so much in 2020 and 2021 to become who I am today. Do the work on yourself : healing is a constant process and build that version of what you want to be and who you want to be. Find yourself again, it is so important: if you have the right tools, it will just work out fine and what you will start feeling inside yourself is indescribable.
On my vision board of last year, I had wished to find a job I would love but most importantly something that will have a positive impact on people’s lives. This year, out of nowhere, this job came from a company called “Committed to Good”. This name resonated : it was a sign and at almost 38 years old and for the second time of my life I have found a job I love and a company with good values. Every day, when I go to bed, I know I have had a positive impact onto someone’s life and this is the most gratifying gift life could give to me. On a personal perspective, giving a bit of myself to strangers is what genuinely makes me happy. I am grateful for the majority of my consultants that constantly drop a message to check on me, see if I am okay, or just to say hello, for all the thank you for what you are doing, thank you for your commitment, you are a rock star, thank you for being there and for the ones praying for me.
I had also visioned myself going to the stage of Salford University and go collect this degree I had worked so hard for. Only time of my life, I paid for my studies. I was hesitating a lot to go by myself, I was sad to be alone because I had the feeling I wasn’t being supported by my family and my friends during this important phase of my life. After talking to someone I got to realize that, once again, this was just about me : “Daoulé with Daoulé”. When I decided to take that road I was alone, I had to finish this alone and hold my own hand and be so crazy proud of myself. I owed it all to myself. I went to Salford on 1st December, I went to that stage, I cried and I will forever remember this moment. Daoule, I am so proud of the woman you are.
I have learned the word “boundaries” and I am working on it : this is going to be my main goal in 2023. This word is positive in such many ways : protecting yourself, protecting your light, letting only the positive and genuine people get into your life, the ones that will bring the best out of you and the ones you can give yourself to 100%.
I am grateful for the tiny circle I have around me, for all the laughs I have shared this year, the beautiful stories I have listened to, for the few rare and genuine people God has put on my path and I am beyond grateful to have met someone that words are not enough to describe how incredible that person is. I am so lucky to have all of that in my life on top of having both my mum and my dad alive and next to me.
I will finish this article on those few lines :
- I have learned that there is no one that can fill the void inside of you except for yourself.
- I have learned that people are breathtakingly beautiful and dreadfully disappointing all at the same time.
- I have learned that your dreams and aspirations often require deep healing and raw honesty.
- I have learned to be more patient with people and myself.
- I have learned that you must make a home in yourself. Trust your gut. You must follow every crazy path that comes your way with hopes that maybe it will work out this time.
- Most importantly, I have learned to just keep going, to keep trying, to keep loving, to keep giving, to keep hoping.
- I have learned that this life may not always follow your plan, but nonetheless, everything is divinely placed.
- At the end of the day, the most person important in your life is you. Check on yourself.
See you all in 2023.
